THE NEW BIRTH EXPERIENCE

WE ARE SINNERS!

"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8; 19

They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." Mark 2:17

Jesus Message to sinners was repentance:

"Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures, and said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behoved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day: and that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all the nations, beginning at Jerusalem." Luke 24:45-47

TWO THINGS WOULD BE PREACHED: REPENTANCE AND REMISSION OF SINS

1. How? It would be preached in His name.

2. Where? It would begin in Jerusalem. This was fulfilled in Acts 2:38.

God Demanded Repentance of Mankind! Repentance means: "the act of turning about; an about face" (from sin to God). "Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance" Matthew 3:8. "From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." Matthew 4:17

True Repentance Is the First Step to God! Repentance prepares our heart to obey the Scriptures further. Many have assumed that repentance is itself the new birth experience. It is said that if we "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ" we need not go any further, because the new birth is complete.

Let's examine this idea first of all; it is true that believing on the Lord Jesus is the first step toward salvation. As Paul told the Phillipian jailer, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved." Acts 16:31

Why is this true? "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Hebrews 11:6

Let’s look at this issue even closer: "And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved" Acts 2:21. "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven" Matthew 7:21. Jesus is very clear that church attendance and simple "easy believism" is not the new birth experience! ("But he that doeth the will of my Father.")

We are not all going to the same place, and we do not all believe the same thing concerning doctrine. Some wish to downplay doctrine as unimportant, but the apostle Paul had a different view: "Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee" I Timothy 4:16. (I Timothy 4:13, II Timothy 3:10, 16; Titus 2:1; and II John 1:10).

IF THERE IS A GOD, THEN THERE HAS TO BE A TRUTH!

Therefore, we have the responsibility to diligently seek for that truth. After repentance, the next step of obedience is water baptism.

Old Testament Typology:

"Which sometime were disobedient, when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water. The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus Christ" I Peter 3:20-21; I Corinthians 10:1-4.

The Tabernacle in the Wilderness:

"Thou shalt also make a laver of brass, and his foot also of brass, to wash withal: and thou shalt put it between the tabernacle of the congregation and the altar, and thou shalt put water therein. For Aaron and his sons shall wash their hands and their feet thereat: When they go into the tabernacle of the congregation, they shall wash with water, that they die not; or when they come near to the altar to minister, to burn offering made by fire unto the LORD: So they shall wash their hands and their feet, that they die not: and it shall be a statute for ever to them, even to him and to his seed throughout their generations" Exodus 30:18-21.

WATER BAPTISM HAS TWO DISTINCT MEANINGS

Washing:

"Then went out to him Jerusalem, and all Judaea, and all the region round about Jordan, And were baptized of him in Jordan, confessing their sins" Matthew 3:5-6.

Burial:

"Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life" Romans 6:4; Colossians 2:12.

The following verses reflect the fulfillment of the command in the early church:

"Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost" Acts 2:38.

"And he commanded them to be baptized in the name of the Lord. Then prayed they him to tarry certain days" Acts 10:48.

"When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus" Acts 19:5

HOW WAS THE EARLY CHURCH BAPTIZED?

The word baptism comes from the Greek word "Baptizo", meaning to dunk, immerse, or soak: John 3:23; Matthew 3:16; Acts 8:38-39.

WHAT ABOUT SPRINKLING?  

We simply do not find it in the Scripture! Sprinkling, pouring, or infant baptism cannot be found or substantiated in the Word of God. These are only human traditions. Therefore, we should reject them in the light of the scriptural truth.

WHAT FORMULA WAS USED?

The birth of the church in the second chapter of Acts made John's baptism obsolete. It was updated when a name was added to it: "Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost" Acts 2:38.

THE GREATEST LEGACY THE LORD LEFT TO HIS CHURCH WAS HIS NAME!

"Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved" Acts 4:12

NO OTHER BAPTISMAL MODE WAS PRACTICED IN SCRIPTURE!

"For as yet he was fallen upon none of them: only they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus" Acts 8:16.

"And he commanded them to be baptized in the name of the Lord. Then prayed they him to tarry certain days" Acts 10:48.

"When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus" Acts 19:5.

"Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?" Romans 6:3.

Jesus' name must be invoked verbally to have a proper baptism!

NOTICE THE THREE QUESTIONS PAUL ASKED THE CHURCH AT CORINTH:

"Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were ye baptized in the name of Paul?" I Corinthians 1:13

Jesus was crucified for us, so we should be baptized in Jesus' name! Look at Paul's own baptism: "And now why tarriest thou? arise, and be baptized, and wash away thy sins, calling on the name of the Lord." Acts 22:16

WATER BAPTISM IS A COMMAND TO BE OBEYED FOR SALVATION!

"And he commanded them to be baptized in the name of the Lord. Then prayed they him to tarry certain days" Acts 10:48. (Mark 16:15-16; Galatians 3:27; Acts 2:41; Ephesians 4:5)

WHAT ABOUT MATTHEW 28:19?

Matthew 28:19 was obeyed in Acts 2:38. Father, Son and Holy Ghost are titles, not names. Many simply repeat the Lord's command found in Matthew 28:19 instead of obeying it. Baptism using a threefold formula was not practiced by or taught by the disciples of Jesus Christ.

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FATHER?

"I am come in my Father's name, and ye receive me not: if another shall come in his own name, him ye will receive." John 5:43

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE SON?

"But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name." John 20:31

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE HOLY GHOST?

"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you." John 14:26

The Holy Ghost is not a name. It is a title for the Spirit of God in the church today.

THE REVELATION OF WHO JESUS REALLY IS!

The name of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost is Jesus! The disciples never had a conflict over baptism in the New Testament because they understood the oneness of God: John 14:10-11; 10:30; 14:8-11; 14:15-20; 14:25-27.

THE HOLY GHOST IS JESUS IN SPIRIT FORM!

Jesus said, "I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you."

These three titles refer to the different roles of the same One God! He is Father in creation; Son in redemption; Holy Ghost in His body, the church! (II Corinthians 5:19; Deuteronomy 6:4; Isaiah 9:6

THE WONDERFUL BAPTISM IN THE HOLY SPIRIT!

"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them." Ezekiel 36:26-27

"And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions." Joel 2:28

Then It Happened for the First Time: "And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance." Acts 2:1-4

Jesus Prophesied This Also: "He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)" John 7:38-39

You do not receive the Holy Ghost automatically when you believe. It is a separate experience that is part of the new birth! (Acts 19:1-6)

Paul found believers, but they needed their experience with God! Even though they had been baptized unto John's baptism, it was not enough. They were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus!

YES, IT IS THAT IMPORTANT

Is the Holy Ghost Necessary for Salvation?

"In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise." Ephesians 1:13

The acts 2 Holy Ghost experience is part of the new birth! Some ask honestly, "But won't church attendance and being a good person save me?": "There was a certain man in Caesarea called Cornelius, a centurion of the band called the Italian band, A devout man, and one that feared God with all his house, which gave much alms to the people, and prayed to God alway. He saw in a vision evidently about the ninth hour of the day an angel of God coming in to him, and saying unto him, Cornelius. And when he looked on him, he was afraid, and said, What is it, Lord? And he said unto him, Thy prayers and thine alms are come up for a memorial before God." Acts 10:1-4

He was led to full salvation by the apostle peter! The point is, being devout does not save you! You must seek truth! Seek and ye shall find!

The Single Common Sign of the Baptism of the Holy Ghost was and is "speaking in tongues."

OLD TESTAMENT PROPHECY:

"For with stammering lips and another tongue will he speak to this people." Isaiah 28:11

Tongues were and are the initial or immediate evidence of the Holy Spirit baptism. Acts 2:4, 10:45-46, 19:6 all mention tongues as the sign when receiving the Holy Ghost.

"For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call." Acts 2:39

           

SE PUEDE TENER RELACIONES DURANTE LA MENSTRUACIÓN

 Si un mandamiento está en la Biblia, no es coincidencia. No es fruto de un mandamiento o una medida sanitaria inventada por algún profeta. Todo lo contrario, si está en la Biblia Dios le dice a su pueblo que se abstenga de hacer algo, siempre es con la intención de evitar a su pueblo males peores.

Pues nosotros somos el Pueblo de Dios. Y Dios nos dice: "Cuando la mujer tenga flujo de sangre y su flujo esté en su cuerpo, siete días permanecerá apartada." Levíticos 15:19

Investigaciones recientes muestran que la mitad de las mujeres fruto del estudio experimentaron aumentos en sus flujos menstruales durante el período de transición de 7 años antes de la cesación final de la menopausia.

En el estudio llevado a cabo en la Universidad de Stanford, aquellas mujeres que se abstuvieron del coito o penetración sexual, experimentaron una reducción del sangrado sustancial.

La doctora Dr. Cutler explica los resultados del estudio: "Para entender el impacto de los resultados tenemos que tener en cuenta lo siguiente, en lo referente a la salud femenina:

1. En Estados Unidos existe un índice de histerectomías (extirpación del útero) cinco veces mayor que en otras naciones médicamente avanzadas.

2. Una mayoría de los médicos americanos consideran que las mujeres en el período perimenopáusico (este es el período inmediatamente previo e inmediatamente del inicio de la Menopausia, y dura en promedio, 4 años), corren un riesgo mucho más alto para que eventualmente haya que hacerle una histerectomía y una ovariectomía simultanea (escisión parcial o total de un ovario).

3. Casi 12 millones de mujeres americanas se encuentran en esa transición perimenopáusico.

La doctora Cutler agrega: "El estudio sugiere que el aumento del sangrado, que a su vez aumenta las posibilidades de la necesidad de una histerectomía, podría tener su causa, por lo menos parcialmente, en el comportamiento sexual de la mujer. Nos referimos a tener relaciones sexuales durante la menstruación. Por tanto, las mujeres deben saber que abstenerse de las relaciones sexuales de penetración durante el período menstrual prevendría histerectomías innecesarias."

Si su esposo, o usted desean satisfacción sexual durante los días del período menstrual, encuentren alternativas sanas y permitidas a la pareja cristiana que no requieran la penetración, incluyendo que la esposa excite el pene de su esposo con sus manos (lo que en tal caso no es considerado masturbación en el sentido técnico) hasta alcanzar la eyaculación. Estas "alternativas sanas" por supuesto excluye el sexo anal, lo que no debemos practicar bajo ninguna circunstancia.

CAN YOU HAVE INTERCOURSE DURING MENSTRUATION

If a command is in the Bible, it is no coincidence. It is not the result of a commandment or a sanitary measure invented by a prophet. On the contrary, if it is in the Bible God tells his people to refrain from doing something, always with the intent to prevent his people worse evils.

For we are the people of God and God tells us: “If a woman has a discharge, and the discharge from her body is blood, she shall be set apart seven days." Leviticus 15:19

Recent research shows that half of the women in the study experienced increases flow in their menstrual during the transition period of seven years before the final cessation of menopause.

In the study conducted at Stanford University, women who abstained from sexual intercourse or penetration experienced a substantial reduction in bleeding.

Dr. Cutler explains the results of the study: "To understand the impact of the results we have to consider the following, in regard to women's health:

1. The U.S. has a rate of hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) five times higher than in other medically advanced nations.

2. A majority of American doctors believe that women in the premenopausal period (this is the period immediately prior and immediately to the onset of menopause, and lasts an average of four years), are at much higher risk to eventually having to have a hysterectomy and an ovariectomy simultaneously (partial or total excision of an ovary).

3. Nearly 12 million American women are in the premenopausal transition.

Dr. Cutler adds: "The study suggests that the increase in bleeding, which in turn increases the likelihood of the need for a hysterectomy, could be caused, at least partially, in the sexual behavior of women. We refer to sex during menstruation. Therefore women should know that abstaining from penetrative sex during menstruation prevent unnecessary hysterectomies. "

If your husband or you desire sexual satisfaction during the days of the menstrual period, find healthy alternatives that are allowed for Christian couple that do not require penetration, including the wife excite her husband’s penis with his hands (which in this case is not considered masturbation in the technical sense) until ejaculation. These "healthy alternatives" of course excludes anal sex, which should not be practiced under any circumstances.

INTERCOURSE DURING MENSTRUATION

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4

Men are more sexually active than women. When the husband wants to have sex during his wives menstrual period (the women almost always can and want to wait), the wife might excite his penis until he experiences an ejaculation. While doing this, the wife could kiss him, stroking his chest, if it is an area that cause pleasure, this will accelerate and make the sexual experience more enjoyable.

This would not be considered masturbation, since the masturbation in which we must not engage in shows great egoism and show that we are not willing to wait, since it motivates us to seek for pleasure exciting our own bodies. As a counterpart to the selfishness that we demonstrate when we masturbate, this should be the definition of the role model to imitate in matrimonial love:  “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Corinthians 13:4-7

Among other things, love does “nothing improper” and “endureth all things”. When we masturbate, especially when we are married, we demonstrate that we have no patience and to not exercise patience that characterizes true love, we are doing “dishonoring others”.

Generally, when a person masturbates, the person has to resort to seeking exciting memories or thoughts that seem to cause, permit and facilitate the process of ejaculation. This is “dishonoring”. To remember the past or to the fantasies things with people that we should not, we commit adultery! (Matthew 5: 27)

The sexual act is an act that should be left for marriage, since real love “waits”, and should always be based on reproductive intentions or the strengthening of the intimate relationship between a Christian couple.

WHAT SEXUAL PRACTICES ARE PERMISSIBLE IN SUCH CASES?

But even knowing how pernicious that masturbation is of your own body, we must make it clear that if it is the wife who excites the penis of her husband or if it is the husband who excites his wife to climax, you would not be committing any sin. This is completely allowed in the marital bed. In this case you are not doing it as result of your selfishness. In reality, although this type of sexual act is not comparable to the satisfying results of penetration, it is indeed something that especially men, can be very helpful. In those moments, in the mind of the husband the only thing that he sees is his wife joined him; the wife is wise not to leave her partner for a long time without satisfaction. It is dangerous for a man to go out or to working in these conditions.

What wisdom God demonstrates when he says: “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” I Corinthians 7:5

When the wife understands this great truth, some problems in that regard will end. This verse contains an amazing truth. When the husband is in great need of sex, the wife must be wise and receive her husband. Once you do, your husband will return to his senses and you will see that you will gain from it. I say this because many husbands get in a bad mood when they are in this condition and yell at anyone who gets in their way. The husband must be honest with his wife and the wife must be wise. Communication saves marriages!

COULD THINGS GO TOO FAR?

Having said all this, you must be careful to not go to extremes. I've known about brothers who have resorted to the use of “vibrators” and other artificial methods of excitation. This will lead you down a dangerous path. Once you resort to methods such as these, you are opening the doors to sin, since using such methods is showing that you are more interested in the sexual act itself and the pleasure experienced through it, then the rejoicing that the union brings, rather physical then spiritual.

In addition, when you accustom your spouse to receive pleasure from an object, instead of you, her partner, then you will have to compete with the quality, efficiency and speed of that object. With what efficiency does a vibrator help to reach an orgasm? Then you try and do the same! These methods inhibit the purpose of sex in marriage, which is the intimacy!

THE MYSTERY OF THE SEXUAL ACT IN THE CHRISTIAN COUPLE

There is a mystery in the sexual act between a married couple. God activates something spiritual when the two come together. There exists a spiritual covenant of which we are not fully aware, but for God it is extremely important.

To resort to methods as the use of vibrators, whips and pornographic movies to warm the mood and other foreign methods, we are not giving the proper place to love, which is the one thing that must give birth to the need of the sexual relation. If not, actually what we are doing is opening the doors to a number of extremes that can easily be used by the enemy to sneak into our marriages. We must beware of not being more interested in pleasing the flesh then the spirit when we join with our wives! “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4

We begin “innocently” with a vibrator, and before we know it we want some “whips” to experience a more satisfactory experience, and suddenly we're up to the neck in a problem of dependency on artificial methods, that our beloved partner no longer means what she should mean... Everything in the matrimonial bed! Anal sex should not even be considered in the bed of a Christian couple! Paul urges us not to defile the bed and to honor the marriage.

Both should be sacred. You and your wife are intelligent people and have been together for a long time. Each one knows which is or are the most pleasurable areas of your bodies. When menstruation is an impediment, you must be creative (without going to the extreme) and you will see that the Holy Spirit will give you peace or remove it in accordance to what you do.

    

LA COPULACION DURANTE LA MENSTRUACIÓN

"Honroso sea en todos el matrimonio y la cama sin mancilla; pero a los fornicarios y a los adúlteros los juzgará Dios." Hebreos 13:4

LO QUÉ SE PUEDE HACER

Los hombres son más activamente sexuales que las mujeres. Cuando el esposo quiere tener relaciones durante el período menstrual de su esposa (las mujeres casi siempre pueden y quieren esperar), la esposa le podría excitar su pene hasta que el experimente una eyaculación. Al tiempo que hace esto, la esposa podría besarle, acariciar su pecho, si es un área que le causa placer, y esto acelerará y hará más placentera la experiencia sexual.

Esto no sería considerado "masturbación", ya que la masturbación en la que no debemos incurrir es en la práctica que muestre gran egoísmo y muestre que no estamos dispuestos a esperar, ya que nos motiva a buscar placer excitando nuestros propios cuerpos. Como contrapartida al egoísmo que mostramos cuando nos masturbamos, la definición que debe ser el modelo a imitar en el amor matrimonial: "El amor es sufrido, es benigno; el amor no tiene envidia; el amor no es jactancioso, no se envanece, no hace nada indebido, no busca lo suyo, no se irrita, no guarda rencor; no se goza de la injusticia, sino que se goza de la verdad. Todo lo sufre, todo lo cree, todo lo espera, todo lo soporta." 1 Corintios 13:4-7

Entre otras cosas, el amor no hace "nada indebido"…y "todo lo espera". Cuando nos masturbamos, especialmente cuando estamos casados, mostramos que no tenemos paciencia y al no ejercitar la paciencia que caracteriza el amor verdadero, estamos haciendo lo "indebido".

Generalmente, cuando una persona se masturba, la persona tiene que recurrir a buscar pensamientos o recuerdos excitantes que le puedan causar, permitir y agilizar el proceso de eyaculación. Esto "no es debido". Al recordar cosas del pasado o al fantasiar con personas que no debemos, ¡cometimos adulterio! (Mateo 5:27)

El acto sexual es un acto que debe dejarse para el matrimonio, ya que el amor verdadero "espera", y siempre debe estar basado en intenciones reproductoras o en el afianzamiento del acercamiento íntimo entre la pareja cristiana.

¿QUÉ PRÁCTICAS SEXUALES SON PERMISIBLES EN ESTOS CASOS?

Pero aún sabiendo lo pernicioso que es la masturbación de su propio cuerpo, debemos aclarar que si es la esposa quien le excita el pene al esposo o si es el esposo quien excita a su esposa hasta alcanzar el clímax, ustedes no estarían incurriendo en pecado alguno. Esto está totalmente permitido en la cama matrimonial. En este caso ustedes no lo están haciendo como resultado de su egoísmo. En realidad, aunque este tipo de acto sexual no es comparable a lo satisfactorio de la penetración, es algo que especialmente a los hombres, puede servir de mucha ayuda. En esos momentos, en la cabeza del esposo lo único que ve es a su esposa unida a él, es sabio que la esposa no deje a su compañero por mucho tiempo sin satisfacción. Es peligroso que el hombre salga a trabajar o a "dar una vuelta por el barrio" en esas condiciones.

Cuánta sabiduría evidencia Dios cuando dice: "Por lo tanto, no se nieguen el uno al otro, a no ser que se pongan de acuerdo en no juntarse por algún tiempo para dedicarse a la oración. Después deberán volver a juntarse; no sea que, por no poder dominarse, Satanás los haga pecar. “I Corintios 7:5

Cuando la esposa entiende esta gran verdad, algunos problemas en ese aspecto se acabaran. Este versículo encierra una verdad asombrosa. Cuando el hombre está "cargado", la mujer debe ser sabia y recibir a su esposo. Una vez lo haga, su esposo volverá a sus cabales y verá que usted saldrá ganando. Digo esto porque uno se pone hasta de mal humor cuando está en estas condiciones y le grita a todo el que le pasa por el lado. El hombre debe ser franco con su esposa y la esposa debe ser sabia. ¡La comunicación salva matrimonios!

¿NO SE PODRÍA LLEGAR DEMASIADO LEJOS?

Dicho todo esto, no debemos incurrir en extremos. He sabido de hermanos que han recurrido al uso de "vibradores" y otros métodos artificiales de excitación. Esto nos lleva por un camino peligroso. Una vez usted recurre a métodos como estos, usted está abriendo las puertas al pecado, ya que al usarlos usted está mostrando que está más interesado en el acto sexual mismo y en el placer experimentado en él, que en el regocijo que conlleva la unión, más que física, espiritual.

Además, cuando usted acostumbra a su conyugue a recibir placer de un objeto, en vez de usted, su pareja, luego usted tendrá que competir en calidad, eficiencia y rapidez con ese objeto. ¿Con cuánta eficiencia ayuda a alcanzar un orgasmo un vibrador? ¡Pues intente usted hacer lo mismo! ¡Esos métodos coartan la razón del sexo en el matrimonio, que es la intimidad!

EL MISTERIO DEL ACTO SEXUAL EN LA PAREJA CRISTIANA

Existe un misterio en el acto sexual entre la pareja casada. Dios activa algo espiritual cuando dos se unen. Existe un pacto espiritual del cual no estamos totalmente conscientes, pero que para Dios es extremadamente importante.

Recurrir a métodos como el uso de "vibradores", "látigos", "películas pornográficas para calentar el ambiente" y otros métodos foráneos, no le estamos dando el lugar apropiado al amor, que es el que debe dar nacimiento a la necesidad de la relación sexual. Si no que en realidad lo que estamos haciendo es abrir las puertas a un sin número de extremos que pueden fácilmente ser usados por el enemigo para colarse en nuestros matrimonios. ¡Cuidémonos de no estar más interesados en complacer la carne que el espíritu cuando nos unimos a nuestras esposas!

"Honroso sea en todos el matrimonio y la cama sin mancilla; pero a los fornicarios y a los adúlteros los juzgará Dios." Hebreos 13:4

Comenzamos "inocentemente" con un vibrador, y cuando pestañeamos queremos unos "látigos" para experimentar una experiencia más satisfactoria, y de repente estamos metidos hasta el pescuezo en un problema de dependencia de métodos artificiales, que ya nuestra amada pareja no significa lo que debe significar... ¡El todo en la cama matrimonial! ¡El sexo anal no debe ni considerarse en la cama de la pareja cristiana! Pablo nos insta a no manchar la cama y a honrar el matrimonio.

Ambos deben ser sagrados. Usted y su esposa son personas inteligentes y han estado juntos mucho tiempo. Cada uno sabe cuál es o son las áreas más placenteras de sus cuerpos. Cuando la menstruación sea un impedimento, ustedes deben ser creativos (sin llegar a extremos) y verán que el Espíritu Santo les dará o les quitará la paz conforme a lo que hagan.

THE USE OF PORNOGRAPHY IN A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28

VIRTUAL INFIDELITY

Pornography can start with something as simple as a photo on your computer or in a magazine. And before too long, the need for stimulation will take you step by step from one graphic material to a more explicit material and revealing and in the blinking of an eye, we do it more and more frequently.

Pornography encourages us to treat each other as objects or machines of pleasure. Pornography sowing the seeds of isolation and leads to unhealthy relationships and loss of respect for ourselves. In due time the user becomes more and more involved in the world of fantasy, pornography becomes an obsession.

Why shouldn’t a Christian couple use pornography to increase their arousal and to enhance their sexual relationship? A long time ago pornography was a habit of the very rich. No one else could afford pornographic luxuries. The Roman Emperor called Tiberius Caesar was addicted to pornography and when he wanted to be satisfied, he would buy special parchments of drawings from Egypt or bring to the palace young men and women trained in the sexual practices for private demonstrations.

Today, all that has changed. Anyone can buy pornography. Renting video stores have special sections just for pornographic films. On the internet, anyone can see whatever they want. To say that “it is easy to get pornography”, today is an understatement. Today we have pornography everywhere we turn, whether we want to see it or not!

We live in Pornotopia. In Pornotopia, the common and ordinary people ask questions that they would not have even thought of asking in the past. Today such questions as the following are asked: Why shouldn’t a married couple use pornography to increase their sexual arousal and to enhance their sex life? Or Why can't we look at a porn movie together before having sex? Anyway, many argue, “we are doing it for a good cause and at least we do it together.”

 It is not only that this is bad, but that it doesn’t work! The wife and her husband are not doing it together. To think it is, is to deceive yourself. In reality, it is inviting other people to the intimacy of marriage! Viewing pornography does not improve their sexual relations. In fact, pornography reduces your arousal and also weakens what could increase your excitement.

WHY THEY ARE NOT DOING IT TOGETHER?

The couple is ready to have sex; they look at a pornographic move. The husband is excited by looking at images of other women rather than his wife. The wife is excited by looking at images of men in the move instead of her husband. They go to bed and have sex. The question is now, with whom are they having sex? They are probably in the sexual act together but it is clear that they are not sharing the act with one another. The husband is living his fantasy with the woman in move and the wife with the man in the move. The fact that they are not present physically is only detail.

The suggestion would amaze us of using prostitutes for the night for this couple to warm up with them, and then simultaneously they turn around to complete the sexual experience with their marriage partner. Nevertheless, this is in essence exactly what they are doing. They are having sex with other people even though there is no one else present than themselves.

Because pornography does not enhance sexual relations in marriage! It only creates a generation that the phrase “making love” could be used for any of the things that lovers do for example: holding hands, made incredible promises, do special things for each other, sweetly whispering in the ear your partner. “Make love” meant any experience where lovers lost their head one for another in demonstrations of love... because sacrificing one for the other is what “making love” really means. Today, unfortunately, we use the expression “to make love” only for the sexual act. It is a deceitful expression. It’s true that the sexual act can be a way of making love, but it can also be a way to destroy it!

The reason why sexual intercourse within marriage is a way of making love is because the husband loses himself in full delight to serve and please his wife, and the wife does the same with her husband. By contrast, when the spouses have sexual relations incorporating pornography, neither is aware of their partner, each one is thinking of himself. The husband is satisfying himself, not to his wife while he imagines that his wife is not his wife but the other women in the move and the wife as well imagines that her husband is not her husband, but the man in the move whom she is thinking of. This is not making love... This is masturbating with the body of your wife or your husband!

WHY DOES PORNOGRAPHY REDUCES SEXUAL AROUSAL IN THE COUPLE?

It is clear that although pornographic sex can enhance the sexual arousal of the couple, it has nothing to do with the sexual arousal of the one with the other. Each one is doing it with other people. And this is only half of the problem.

The other half is that pornographic fantasies become addictive. Let us consider the husband. If the husband increases his arousal imagining that his wife is another woman, he will come to rely more and more on fantasy, and he will be less able to be excited by his wife. Not only that, but his fantasy will quickly lose their power. So to be able to be excited again he will need a new fantasy. There’s the trap! 

At first it will be sufficient only to imagine another woman. But soon that becomes old, since the imaginary thing never has the vitality of reality. Suddenly the husband's fantasies will become stranger. Not only will he have to imagine another woman but also other types of women - not only sex but also other types of sex - to be able to feel the excitement. He may discover that he will want pornography not only before sexual intercourse but during intercourse. In fact, the fantasy may come to not be enough to satisfy him. It can go so far as to want to realize his pornographic fantasies with his wife. Anal sex, oral sex, unusual positions, etc. They become the new level to satisfy himself.

PORNOGRAPHY IS DESTRUCTIVE RATHER THAN CONSTRUCTIVE

Occasionally a couple will look at pornography simply because they have problems enjoying their sexual relations, and they believe that pornography is going to solve this problem. Unfortunately, the use of pornography destroys not only what should be fix but also, as we have already seen, it distracts the couple and prevents them from attending what actually needs to be attended: The marriage.

Sexual frustration can arise from many causes. Perhaps the couple looks at sex as a realization of their own desires and not with the spirit that God wishes it to be ... With the spirit of giving. Possibly there are unrealistic expectations about the sexual act. Perhaps one of them is sick, depressed, or has fear of aging. Sometimes the sexual frustrations arise from other problems within the relationship, such as disputes, infidelity, or not taking time to talk and communicate.

By the grace of God, a couple that is facing problems can work on repairing the marriage. But pornography is not the way to help, it only worsening the situation.

EL USO DE LA PORNOGRAFÍA EN EL MATRIMONIO CRISTIANO

"Oísteis que fue dicho: "No cometerás adulterio". Pero yo os digo que cualquiera que mira a una mujer para codiciarla, ya adulteró con ella en su corazón." Mateo 5:27-28

LA INFIDELIDAD VIRTUAL

La pornografía puede empezar con algo tan simple como una foto en la computadora o en una revista. Y antes de que pase mucho tiempo, la necesidad de estimulación le llevar paso a paso de un material gráfico a un material más explícito y revelador y en un abrir y cerrar de ojos, lo hacemos de manera más y más frecuente.

La pornografía nos anima a tratarnos los unos a los otros como objetos o máquinas del placer. La pornografía siembra las semillas del aislamiento y nos lleva a relaciones no saludables y a la pérdida del respeto a nosotros mismos. Al paso que el usuario se involucra más y más en el mundo de la fantasía, la pornografía llega a ser una obsesión.

¿Por qué es que la pareja cristiana no debe usar la pornografía para aumentar su excitación y para acrecentar sus relaciones sexuales? Hace mucho tiempo que la pornografía fue un vicio de los muy ricos. Nadie más podía darse lujos pornográficos. El Emperador romano llamado Cesar Tiberios era adicto a la pornografía y cuando quería satisfacerse, compraba pergaminos especiales de dibujos desde Egipto o traía al palacio jóvenes y señoritas entrenadas en las prácticas sexuales para demostraciones privadas.

Hoy, todo eso ha cambiado. Todos pueden comprar la pornografía. Las tiendas de rentar videos tienen secciones especiales solamente para las películas pornográficas. Con dos clics en la computadora, cualquiera puede ver lo que sea en la Web. Decir que "es fácil obtener pornografía" hoy día es una declaración que se queda corta. ¡Hoy la pornografía la tenemos pegada a nuestros ojos la queramos ver o no la queramos ver!

Vivimos en Pornotopia. En Pornotopia, la gente común y corriente hace preguntas que ni siquiera le hubiera ocurrido hacer en otros tiempos. Hoy se hacen preguntas como la siguiente: ¿Por qué el matrimonio no debe usar la pornografía para aumentar su excitación sexual y acrecentar sus relaciones sexuales? O ¿Por qué no podemos mirar una película pornográfica juntos antes de acostarnos en la cama? De todos modos, muchos alegan, "lo hacemos por una buena causa y por lo menos lo hacemos juntos".

¡No es solamente que esto es malo sino que tampoco funciona! La esposa y su esposo no lo están haciendo juntos. Pensarlo es engañarse. En realidad, ¡se está invitando a otras personas a la intimidad del matrimonio! Ver pornografía no mejora sus relaciones sexuales. De hecho, la pornografía reduce su excitación y además debilita lo que sí puede acrecentar su excitación. Considerémonos cada uno de los cuatro puntos individualmente.

¿POR QUÉ NO ESTÁN HACIÉNDOLO JUNTOS?

Llega la hora de acostarse, la pareja miran pornografía. El esposo se excita mirando fotos de mujeres en vez de mirar a su esposa. La esposa se excita al mirar la imagen de un hombre en una foto en vez de mirar a su esposo. Van a la cama y tienen relaciones sexuales. La pregunta es, ¿con quién están teniendo relaciones sexuales? Probablemente están en el acto sexual al mismo tiempo pero es bien claro que no están compartiendo el acto el uno con el otro. El esposo está viviendo su fantasía con la mujer de la foto y la esposa con el hombre de la foto. El hecho que éstos no están presentes físicamente es sólo un detalle.

Nos asombraría la sugerencia de emplear prostitutas para la noche para esta pareja, para que se calienten con ellas y luego simultáneamente se den la vuelta para completar la experiencia sexual con su pareja del matrimonio. Sin embargo, esto es en esencia exactamente lo que están haciendo. Están teniendo relaciones sexuales con otras personas aunque no hay nadie más presente que ellos mismos.

Porqué la pornografía no aumenta las relaciones sexuales en el matrimonio Hace solamente una generación que la expresión "hacer el amor" se podía usar para cualquiera de las cosas que los enamorados hacen como por ejemplo: agarrarse de las manos, hacerse promesas increíbles, hacer cosas especiales el uno para el otro, susurrar dulcemente en el oído de su pareja. "Hacer el amor" quería decir cualquier experiencia donde los enamorados perdían la cabeza el uno por el otro en demostraciones de amor… porque el sacrificarse uno por el otro es lo que significa en realidad "hacer el amor". Hoy, desafortunadamente, utilizamos la expresión "hacer el amor" solamente para el acto sexual. Es una expresión engañadora. Claro que el acto sexual puede ser una manera de hacer el amor, ¡pero también puede ser una manera de destruirlo!

La razón por la que el acto sexual dentro del matrimonio es una manera de hacer el amor es porque el esposo se pierde a sí mismo en completo deleite de servir y complacer a su esposa, y la esposa hace lo mismo con su marido. Por contraste, cuando los esposos tienen relaciones sexuales incorporando la pornografía, ninguno de los dos está atento a su pareja, cada uno está pensando en sí mismo. El esposo está satisfaciéndose a sí mismo, no a su esposa mientras imagina que su esposa no es su esposa sino la otra modelo y así la esposa imagina que su esposo no es su esposo, sino el elegante modelo en quien está pensando. Eso no es hacer el amor… ¡Esto es masturbarse con el cuerpo de su esposa o su esposo!

¿POR QUÉ LA PORNOGRAFÍA REDUCE LA EXCITACIÓN SEXUAL DE LA PAREJA?

Hasta ahora es claro que aunque las relaciones sexuales pornográficas pueden acrecentar la excitación sexual de la pareja, no tiene nada qué ver la excitación sexual del uno con el otro. Cada uno está haciéndolo con otras personas. Y eso es solamente la mitad del problema.

La otra mitad es que las fantasías pornográficas llegan a ser adictivas. Considerémonos al esposo. Si el esposo aumenta su excitación sexual imaginando que su esposa es otra mujer, el llegará a depender más y más en de fantasía, será menos capaz de ser excitado por su esposa. No solamente eso sino que su fantasía perderán su poder rápidamente. Entonces para poder ser excitado otra vez necesitará una nueva fantasía. ¡Ahí está la trampa!

Al principio será suficiente solamente imaginar otra mujer. Pero pronto eso llega a ser antiguo, pues lo imaginario nunca tiene la vitalidad de la realidad. De pronto las fantasías del esposo van a ser más raras. Tendrá que imaginar no solamente otra mujer sino también otro tipo de mujer - no solamente las relaciones sexuales sino también otro tipo de relaciones sexuales - para poder sentir la excitación. Podrá encontrar que quiere la pornografía no solamente antes de las relaciones sexuales sino durante ellas. De hecho, la fantasía podrá llegar a no ser suficiente para satisfacerlo. Puede llegar a querer realizar sus fantasías pornográficas con su esposa. Sexo anal, sexo oral, posiciones raras, etc. se convierten en el nuevo nivel para lograr satisfacerse.

LA PORNOGRAFÍA ES DESTRUCTIVA EN VEZ DE CONSTRUCTIVA

 De vez en cuando la pareja mira la pornografía simplemente porque tienen problemas disfrutando sus relaciones sexuales, y creen que la pornografía va a resolver este problema. Desdichadamente, el uso de la pornografía no solamente destruye lo que debe arreglar sino también, como ya hemos visto, distrae la pareja y evita que la pareja atienda lo que en realidad necesita ser atendido: El matrimonio.

La frustración sexual puede surgir de muchas causas. Posiblemente la pareja mira al acto sexual como una realización de sus propios deseos y no con el espíritu que Dios desea que se haga… con el espíritu de entrega. Posiblemente hay expectaciones no realistas acerca del acto sexual. Quizás uno de ellos está enfermo, deprimido, o tiene miedo de envejecer. A veces las frustraciones sexuales surgen de otros problemas dentro de la relación, como las disputas, la infidelidad o de no tomar tiempo para charlar y comunicarse.

Por la gracia de Dios, una pareja que esté enfrentando problemas puede trabajar en la reparación del matrimonio. Pero, la pornografía no es la manera de ayudar, sino de empeorar la situación.