INTERCOURSE DURING MENSTRUATION

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4

Men are more sexually active than women. When the husband wants to have sex during his wives menstrual period (the women almost always can and want to wait), the wife might excite his penis until he experiences an ejaculation. While doing this, the wife could kiss him, stroking his chest, if it is an area that cause pleasure, this will accelerate and make the sexual experience more enjoyable.

This would not be considered masturbation, since the masturbation in which we must not engage in shows great egoism and show that we are not willing to wait, since it motivates us to seek for pleasure exciting our own bodies. As a counterpart to the selfishness that we demonstrate when we masturbate, this should be the definition of the role model to imitate in matrimonial love:  “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Corinthians 13:4-7

Among other things, love does “nothing improper” and “endureth all things”. When we masturbate, especially when we are married, we demonstrate that we have no patience and to not exercise patience that characterizes true love, we are doing “dishonoring others”.

Generally, when a person masturbates, the person has to resort to seeking exciting memories or thoughts that seem to cause, permit and facilitate the process of ejaculation. This is “dishonoring”. To remember the past or to the fantasies things with people that we should not, we commit adultery! (Matthew 5: 27)

The sexual act is an act that should be left for marriage, since real love “waits”, and should always be based on reproductive intentions or the strengthening of the intimate relationship between a Christian couple.

WHAT SEXUAL PRACTICES ARE PERMISSIBLE IN SUCH CASES?

But even knowing how pernicious that masturbation is of your own body, we must make it clear that if it is the wife who excites the penis of her husband or if it is the husband who excites his wife to climax, you would not be committing any sin. This is completely allowed in the marital bed. In this case you are not doing it as result of your selfishness. In reality, although this type of sexual act is not comparable to the satisfying results of penetration, it is indeed something that especially men, can be very helpful. In those moments, in the mind of the husband the only thing that he sees is his wife joined him; the wife is wise not to leave her partner for a long time without satisfaction. It is dangerous for a man to go out or to working in these conditions.

What wisdom God demonstrates when he says: “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” I Corinthians 7:5

When the wife understands this great truth, some problems in that regard will end. This verse contains an amazing truth. When the husband is in great need of sex, the wife must be wise and receive her husband. Once you do, your husband will return to his senses and you will see that you will gain from it. I say this because many husbands get in a bad mood when they are in this condition and yell at anyone who gets in their way. The husband must be honest with his wife and the wife must be wise. Communication saves marriages!

COULD THINGS GO TOO FAR?

Having said all this, you must be careful to not go to extremes. I've known about brothers who have resorted to the use of “vibrators” and other artificial methods of excitation. This will lead you down a dangerous path. Once you resort to methods such as these, you are opening the doors to sin, since using such methods is showing that you are more interested in the sexual act itself and the pleasure experienced through it, then the rejoicing that the union brings, rather physical then spiritual.

In addition, when you accustom your spouse to receive pleasure from an object, instead of you, her partner, then you will have to compete with the quality, efficiency and speed of that object. With what efficiency does a vibrator help to reach an orgasm? Then you try and do the same! These methods inhibit the purpose of sex in marriage, which is the intimacy!

THE MYSTERY OF THE SEXUAL ACT IN THE CHRISTIAN COUPLE

There is a mystery in the sexual act between a married couple. God activates something spiritual when the two come together. There exists a spiritual covenant of which we are not fully aware, but for God it is extremely important.

To resort to methods as the use of vibrators, whips and pornographic movies to warm the mood and other foreign methods, we are not giving the proper place to love, which is the one thing that must give birth to the need of the sexual relation. If not, actually what we are doing is opening the doors to a number of extremes that can easily be used by the enemy to sneak into our marriages. We must beware of not being more interested in pleasing the flesh then the spirit when we join with our wives! “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4

We begin “innocently” with a vibrator, and before we know it we want some “whips” to experience a more satisfactory experience, and suddenly we're up to the neck in a problem of dependency on artificial methods, that our beloved partner no longer means what she should mean... Everything in the matrimonial bed! Anal sex should not even be considered in the bed of a Christian couple! Paul urges us not to defile the bed and to honor the marriage.

Both should be sacred. You and your wife are intelligent people and have been together for a long time. Each one knows which is or are the most pleasurable areas of your bodies. When menstruation is an impediment, you must be creative (without going to the extreme) and you will see that the Holy Spirit will give you peace or remove it in accordance to what you do.