Hebrews
13:4, I Corinthians 7-1-5
Pornography can start with something as simple as a
photo on the computer or in a men's magazine or on the internet. And before
long, the need for stimulation will take you step by step from graphic material
to more explicit and revealing material, and in the blink of an eye; we do it
more and more frequently.
Pornography encourages us to treat each other as
objects or pleasure machines. Pornography sows the seeds of isolation and leads
to unhealthy relationships and loss of self-respect. As the user becomes more
and more involved in the fantasy world, pornography becomes an obsession.
However, there is good news. We can free ourselves from the bondage of
pornography.
Pornography was long ago a vice of the very rich. No
one else could afford pornographic luxuries. The Roman Emperor named Caesar
Tiberius was addicted to pornography and when he wanted to satisfy himself, he
bought special drawing scrolls from Egypt or brought young men and young ladies
trained in sexual practices to the palace for private demonstrations.
Today, all that has changed. Anyone can buy porn.
With two clicks on the computer, anyone can see anything on the internet. To
say that "pornography is easy to obtain" today is an understatement.
Today we have pornography glued to our eyes whether we want to see it or not!
We live in Pornotopia. In Pornotopia, ordinary
people ask questions that they would not have even thought to ask in the past.
Today, questions such as the following are being asked: Why shouldn't a married
couple use pornography to increase their sexual arousal and enhance their
sexual relationships? Or why can't we watch a porn movie together before we go
to bed? Still, many argue, "we do it for a good cause and at least we do
it together."
Not only is this bad, but it also doesn't work
either! The wife and husband are not doing it together. To think about it is to
fool oneself. In reality, other people are being invited into the intimacy of
marriage! Viewing pornography does not improve your sexual relationships. In
fact, pornography reduces your arousal and also weakens what can increase your
arousal.
Why aren't they doing it together? Bedtime comes,
the couple looks at pornography. The husband becomes aroused by looking at images
of women instead of looking at his wife: the wife is aroused by looking at the
image of a man in a movie instead of looking at her husband. They go to bed and
have sex. The question is; who are they having sex with? They are probably in the
act of sex at the same time but it is quite clear that they are not sharing the
act with each other. The husband is living out his fantasy with the woman in
the movie and the wife with the man in the movie. The fact that they are not
physically present is just a detail. "You have heard that it was said:
"You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that whoever looks at a
woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his
heart." Matthew 5: 27-28
We would be amazed at the suggestion of hiring
prostitutes for the night, to get aroused with them, and then simultaneously
turn around to complete the sexual experience with their marriage partner. However,
this is essentially what they are doing. They are having sex with other people
even though no one else is present other than themselves.
Pornography does not increase sexual relationships
in marriage It was only a generation ago that the expression "making
love" could be used for any of the things that lovers do, such as holding
hands, making incredible promises, doing special things to each other, whispering
sweetly into your partner's ear. "Making love" meant any experience
where lovers lost their minds for each other in demonstrations of love ...
because sacrificing for each other is what "making love" really
means. Today, unfortunately, we use the expression "making love" only
for the sexual act. It is a misleading expression. Sure, sex can be a way to
make love, but it can also be a way to destroy it!
The reason the sexual act within marriage is a way
of making love is that the husband loses himself in complete delight in serving
and pleasing his wife and the wife does the same for her husband. By contrast,
when a married couple has sex, incorporating pornography, neither of them is
attentive to their partner, each is thinking of himself. The husband is
satisfying himself, not his wife while imagining that his wife is not his wife,
but another woman, and thus the wife imagines that her husband is not her
husband, but the elegant man she is thinking of. That is not making love… This
is masturbating with the body of your wife or her husband!
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