Luke 15: 11-24, I John 1:9
It’s not every
day that you get a second chance, most of the time we are glad to get a first
one. God is not only the God of second chances; He is the God of another chance.
This is good news because most of us mess up the second chance fairly quickly.
One of the amazing features of God’s character is His incredible patience with
us. Psalm 86:15 says it well: "But you, O Lord, are a God
merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and
faithfulness." Micah 7:18 says, "Who is a God like you,
pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his
inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in
steadfast love." The Bible is full of people who received second chances,
and even third and fourth chances: Peter, Jonah, Mark, Samson, David, and others.
Just as God is patient and forgiving, He wants His children to be patient with
and forgiving of others. "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and
dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness
and patience" (Colossians 3:12). He gives us second chances, and we must
give the same to others. Jesus gives a stern warning to those who refuse to
forgive, saying that if we will not forgive others, God will not forgive us (Matthew
6:1, Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13, Proverbs 19:11). If someone is truly
repentant, then we are obligated to forgive (Matthew 18:21-21).
Offering forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation. Many people
struggle to find the balance between showing mercy and enabling a harmful
person to continue harming. We should be willing to forgive everyone who wrongs
us, just as Jesus forgives us. But, when someone continues to unrepentantly
violate another person’s boundaries, a wise person learns to set firmer
boundaries. If a man has repeatedly punched you in the face, you can offer to
forgive him; but you don’t stand within arm’s distance until he has proved over
time that he has changed.
Giving someone a second chance means we give him another chance to earn our
trust. But that does not mean we instantly forget what experience has taught
us. Trust must be earned over time, and we are foolish if we give trust
prematurely. We can have a loving and forgiving heart that also practices wise
guardianship over our lives.
When we have wronged someone, we have no right to demand another chance. But we
should work to earn another chance by continued demonstration of repentance and
change.
Even God has a limit on forgiveness. In Romans 1:18-32, the apostle Paul
warns us what happens when we continue to spurn God’s patience and reject His
call to repentance. Three different times, the phrase "God turned them
over" appears. When we insist on running our lives the way we want rather
than the way God wants, He lets us. Eventually, when our hearts are hardened
against Him, He lets us go. He turns us over to a reprobate mind, one that can
no longer seek God. At that point, sin has become our god.
There may come a time in a human relationship when the same thing has occurred, when forgiveness has been offered and restoration made possible, but one
party refuses to repent and rejects all efforts to reconcile. It may be time to
end that relationship. Second chances are no longer working. Ending a
relationship is a last resort, but sometimes it must be done (Matthew 18:17).
God does everything possible to draw us to repentance, offering forgiveness and
second chances (II Peter 3:9). But if we continue to reject Him, the offer is
withdrawn and, at death, there are no more chances (Hebrews 9:27). God’s grace
is our model. We can offer second chances to others until a healthy
relationship is no longer possible.
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