“You have heard that it was
said to those of old, ‘You shall not
commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust
for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28:
“Then the scribes and Pharisees brought
to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they
said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now
Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You
say?” This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and
wrote on the ground with His
finger, as though He did not hear. So when they continued asking Him, He raised
Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a
stone at her first.” And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then
those who heard it, being
convicted by their conscience,
went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman
standing in the midst. When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the
woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one
condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I
condemn you; go and sin no more.” John 8:3-11:
How
do we decide what is right and wrong where sex is concerned? Is conscience
alone trustworthy in human relations involving sex? Should public opinion be
the final standard of judgment? The Word of God gives us guidance in answering
such questions.
As
the sixth commandment prohibits destroying someone’s life, the seventh
prohibits destroying someone’s marriage. The commandment about adultery shares
with the commandment on killing the importance of the worth of another
individual.
Opposition
to adultery is firmly rooted in the Word of God. Adulterers are grouped
together in the Old Testament with murderers, treacherous men and those who
oppress others. It is not surprising that the penalty for adultery was death.
Two
ideas are especially noteworthy in Jesus’ saying: Jesus did not forbid looking
at a woman, as did some teachers in his day. Nor did he condemn the natural
attraction of a man and woman to each other. What he condemned was allowing
that attraction to lead to fantasies that threatened another’s marriage. Jesus
broke with the popular tendency to blame women for the problem of seduction. He
called on men to assume responsibility for their sexual desires.
Moral
laws operate in the universe as well as laws of nature. The Ten Commandments
are moral laws. They reveal how life is put together morally. When we obey
these laws, life is rich and full. When we disobey them, life becomes
destructive and falls apart. They are the laws of God. Like the laws of nature,
the moral laws hold firm. God enforces them continually.
How
do we know that the Ten Commandments are the laws of God? We know because
without them personal life will degenerate. Idolatry, killing, laying,
stealing, adultery, and so forth are contrary to the way life is put together.
We were made for love, truth, honesty, and purity.
When
Jesus spoke of those who transgressed the commandment forbidding adultery, he
did not stop with the act itself. Instead, he moved into the inner person where
the desire to commit the act was born. He said, “Everyone who looks at a woman
lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”
The
rabbis in Jesus’ day gave a man credit for his good intentions and overlooked
his bad ones as long as he did not give in to them. Jesus would not be as
lenient with those who wished to do wrong but held back because of lack of
opportunity or legal consequences or fear of God. If they really desired in
their hearts to commit adultery, it was as though they had actually done so.
I
do not think that Jesus was saying that the thoughts born of our normal
instinctive sex drives are sinful. Only if one, apart from marriage, accepts,
cherishes, and dwells upon them do they become evil. Someone has said that the
thought is father of the deed. Jesus said that the willful thought is itself
the deed. This belief holds true not only in regard to sex, but in all areas of
personal relationships where evil desires are entertained or deliberately
invited.
The
account in John’s Gospel of the woman taken in adultery illustrates how human
personality can be violated. The men who were having relations with her were
using her body for their own pleasure alone. How she felt inside, what they
were doing to her as a person, her future prospects as a wife and mother, all
these were not in the thinking of these men.
We
hear the phrase “consenting adults” a great deal today. The phrase has even
become a part of some legislation where sex is involved. The fact that there is
a consenting partner may mean only that rape did not occur. The fact of
consenting partners may justify the act in the eyes of the law but not in the
higher law of love given in Christ. The effect upon the persona of those
involved in these acts still needs to be considered.
Persons
“living together” who are unmarried are inviting anguish when the relationship
breaks up, social stigma, suffering for any children born of this union and
possible legal entanglements. And then, regardless of any disclaimers, there is
usually the sting of conscience as ideals once held are repressed as they
attempt to rationalize them away.
Recently
the newspapers carried a story of a beautiful young woman who took her own life
because she could no longer stand the insecurity of her situation. She had been
sexually abused as a young girl and experienced a series of marriages, none of
which lasted. People had used her to feed their own lustful desires and
purposes. She could no longer take her situation.
Even
in marriage, personality can be violated. Some marriages have been referred to
as legalized adultery. There is no longer any concern for the other person. For
them, physical relief rather than love is all that the marital relationship
involves.
This
study is not an anti-sex lesson but an anti-lust lesson. In the beginning God
created human beings as man and woman. His purpose was that they should marry
and multiply. Within the bonds of holy matrimony, sex is both beautiful and
sacred.
If
we have a sexual drive within us, it is because God created us that way. If we
have the capacity to think sexual thoughts, it is because God has given us that
capacity. The same creative God, however, has prescribed a rightful and
abundant way in which these desires and thoughts should be expressed.
Nothing
in the Word of God would indicate that human beings are supposed to only mate
for procreation. Sexual communication within the bonds of matrimony can not
only bring unity to body, soul and spirit, but can draw husband and wife
together in a union of love that is similar, as Ephesians 5:31-33 states, to
the relation of Christ and the church.
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